Loss of a spouse

[Dave Keesling]

I'm thrilled by the truths Steve and Sarah surface about our ongoing relationship with a child who has preceeded us to heaven. How would that same reality be applied to the loss of a spouse in a world in which the tendency is to marry again at some point in the future? If a son never stops being a son, does a wife in heaven ever stop being a wife if she, in heaven, finds her looking down upon a second wife in her husband's life?

[Raymond A Hays]

I've been meaning to post something that pertains to this very question, and put it out as a question. Does this make sense to anyone? I've troubled and searching for an answer to basically the same thing how does this reality apply to the loss of a spouse? I tried searching also but it seemed to allude me until one Sunday morning about 3 weeks ago as I was driving to church I just quietly asked God will she still be my wife since you consider family relationships in such a high manner? Then as a silent whisper I heard a voice ask When you and Vonnie were wed what VOW did you make in my presence? and my answer was simple I said aloud I Raymond do take you Yvonne to be my Lawfully wed wife for as long as we both shall live ...... then that small voice said remember she is very much alive even though she is not here with you so your Vow is still in operation. By the time I got to church my eyes were filled with tears of joy. So to me that answers it all. we will be together again.

[Dave Keesling]

What a simple yet clear reminder of the truth of your (and my) vows, Raymond. Thank you. Cindy had multiple sclerosis for 37 years before she died nearly seven years ago. I haven't longed to remarry, but I'm constantly looked at askance by friends who have "someone special" they would like me to meet. Let me ask you another question: what have you done with your wedding ring? How long ago did Yvonne pass? I wore my ring for several years...tried taking it off a couple of times and simply didn't like it not being there. It's off now only because an injury required that it be cut off, but sometimes I think about it and wonder if it would be too weird to have it restored so I could wear it again.

[Raymond A Hays]

I'm gonna try this again, The first question, my Vonnie graduated 2 days before Thanksgiving 2008 we were married 29 years going on 30. she spent a month in the hospital with an infection (Sepsis) she seemed to be getting better so they moved her to a transitional care facility where she passed a week later. Like you I haven't longed to remarry but then you know why. Because most of my friends know how I feel they haven't tried to hook me up. As for the ring I don't see anything wrong in restoring it. Myself I still have both sets hers and mine but because my fingers are so big I can't wear it, but then I haven't been able to wear my ring for over 5 years since an injury. Even then because of my job I had to keep it off during the day working around high voltage and crushing machinery.
If you go to the blog section of this site you can read what has happened shortly after her passing titled dreams of comfort you'll have to click on previous at the bottom of the page (right under my post "Memorial for Yvonne"

[Dave Keesling]

Thank you, Raymond. God has never failed to provide a word, a friend, or a Nod just when one was needed. You have been that for me, in ways I won't go into here. But I am thankful for your willingness to walk through your Journey since Vonnie changed addresses. Your experiences since then, and your willingness to share them, have touched me deeply. - Dave

[Cindy Beard]

First let me be very clear.
I have not lost a spouse to them going Home.
But, I have often wondered about loved ones in Heaven. I think (?) that our loved ones are still our loves ones… grandparents, children, parents, husbands/wives…. But first will they not be 100% Jesus?
I mean, when I get to go Home and be with The Father, He will be my True Father, but my dad will be my dad not the same. I will love him ( my dad) for sure, but I believe my True Father will over shadow my earth dad. My dad has no problem letting me know who comes first with him, and it’s not a family member here. And I agree with him. I love my kids so much, but I understand in heaven I will take a back seat in the back of the bus.
I have to wonder if our relationships with our loves ones take a new course. If I lost a husband, instead if me being his wife and putting me at the top of his list, Jesus would take that place. I know the love will still be there, but the direction of the love will maybe be different.
I think we will have the same relationships, but in a brand new way with our brand new bodies and lives. Things that mean so much here (I think) are not going to be seen the same up once we go home.
Again I believe the love is still among you and a spouse who went home. True love doesn’t go away, just maybe on a new path and relationship.
I could be wrong.

God bring you His peace and comfort

[Dave Keesling]

I love what you wrote, Cindy. There's so my mystery about all this, and it's all good! My heart longs to know more this side of eternity, but He tells us to be content and to trust Him in all things, doesn't He? Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and insights. Blessings, Dave

[Raymond A Hays]

Thank you Cindy for the insight, What you say is true, I figured since we are on a Christ centered site I took for granted that what you stated is true. What I was getting to in my thoughts were based on a life time of teaching that when we enter into heaven we will all be separate and equal having knowledge of each other, sharing and experiencing the Love of our Lord and GOD. In the past year and a half I started to search out the word for what really will be. What I discovered is that God loves and cares so much for us not only as an individual but as Family so we will continue as family although in a new and more glorious way we here in this realm cannot fathom. Our love for each other will continue. What I expressed in my first response was an answer to prayer. Just because God will be our first love in his presence doesn't mean what we have here won't be in heaven.

[Cindy Beard]

Oh Raymond I agree with you. I love what God shared with you about Vonnie, it is beautiful.